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Wednesday, 31 October 2007

The Revenge of the Fat Kid

I had to think twice about coming to the cemetery tomorrow. That's because of my thin obsessed relatives will start yet another you'd-have-a-lot-of-guys-around-you-if-you're-skinny-as-a-reed or skinny-is-beautiful litanies. Phone yetah, I hate it when they do that because they'd just focus on my fat ass and not in what I am doing. I should tell them that they should be thankful that I don't do drugs and that I am not terminally ill. I love my plus size figure and my body is proportional to the size of my head, thank you very much.

The names "Taba" and "baboy" from my Elementary days are long gone. And I also left behind my bullying the bullies tendencies. But I decided that I'd show up anyway, because I don't intend them on raining on my parade. Put Tang in a glass, so what if I'm not thinspirational? I'm just trying to maintain my weight for health reasons and not for vanity's sake.

To make them shut up, I formulated a plan. If they start ranting on how pretty being skinny is, I'll give them a piece of paper containing a list of the stuff I want to have for my birthday/Christmas. They'd know I'm not joking because I never asked for gifts when I graduated or passed the board. It's a great deal though, because I'm turning a year older on the 21st and Christmas is on the 25th. Not bad, eh? Follow my list:

  1. Top Priority/Ultimate Shebang: A 30GB Micorsoft Zune or an 80GB Version 5.5 iPod (black) paired with surround sound speakers.

  2. Bangaw shades ni Kumareng Lulu or ng Mangga

  3. 3M™ Littmann® Electronic Stethoscope Model 3000.
  4. Gossip Girl Book 2-10, hardbound.
  5. The Witch of Portobello by Paolo Coelho and Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez, hardbound.
  6. Anesthesia Machine by Siemens (joke)
  7. Hip Hop Abs by Shaun T...to prevent obesity induced Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus.
  8. Trip to Divisoria with Php 5,000 pocket money...pang-negosyo. *lol*
Good luck sa kanila. Knowing them as kuripot, I'll see if they'd try to initiate that kind of talk after my gift proposal. Haha!!!


gdwn said...

hahaha ang ambitious ng wish list! nako pag may kahit isa diyan na natupad, ok na. hehehe. anyway.... pag reunions na ganyan, hindi naman yung pagiging fat/skinny ang hirit sakin kundi ang pagkaka-boyfriend. susmaryosep, kelangan every reunion ganon?

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

oooh, nice idea. though i'm leaving the cemetery trip to my old-er folks. i'm just not quite into those spooky places, you know. if i want one, i'll just go to my workplace. atleast dun eh sumesweldo pa ako. hehehe. ;)

shucks, gusto ko rin tuloy gumawa ng wishlist. so far 3 na naiisip ko, 1) brand new shiny boylet, 2) harrison's internal med, and 3) a car loan. in any order. hahaha!!!

i want those mischa barton sneakers too. they're so uhm, cute. they don't look good kasi pag naka-scrubs eh, mas bagay yung mga boy-type rubber shoes. hmphf. hahaha!

my sister has those hip hop abs. ma-try nga, baka magka-abs rin ako. =)

KC said...

@ Gdwn: Oo nga, ambitious nga pero yung ibang items, pang-stir lang. As in panakot. Mabisa naman itong wishlist na ito kahit paano.

Isama mo na yang boyfriendless ek-ek sa fat/skinny hirit. Ganon talaga sila...

KC said...

@ Ruff: i agree, just go to your workplace. That's what you call getting spooked while being paid. I want.

Go and make a wishlist too. You might never know, someone might play Santa and may actually give you stuff. Baka nga si playing Santa, may be #1 too. Haha!

I like those sneakers too because it'd be less likely that you'd bump into someone wearing the same shoe. Hip hop abs looks fun to do. Buti ka pa, your sister has that.

gasti said...

hehe! mabuti na lamang at walang nanloloko sa kin na ganyan sa mga kamag anak ko..di sila uubra sakin..anlakas ko kaya mang asar pag nasa mood..

bayaan mo na sila..di ka naman mataba eh. saka mukhang di ka naman sakitin. yun ang importante run.

KC said...

@ Gasti: good for you. Shet sa aming magkakapatid lagi kaming nasasabihan niyan. Kahit topakin ka na, hindi ka pa rin titigilan. Dahil weakness nila ang gumastos, ayan ang wishlist ko para tigilan ninyo ako.

Naku ang definition nila ng hindi mataba eh yung talagang patpatin. Kahit sabihin kong di ako sakitin sasabihin pa rin nila na mamamatay pa rin ako sa katabaan. SUS!

docchef said...

hmm.. nice list u got there:)

KC said...

Haha! Thanks Docchef! =)