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Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Don't Let Me Get Me

There are times that I freak myself out. Seeing this old dorm photo made my eyes roll:

which is kind of similar with the results of my "Lenten Spring Cleaning":

Bookshelf

Close up look:

Textbooks

The height alignment scares me. I think that it is not neat enough if the books are stacked in disarray. Neat freaks unite!

Hmpf.

I've spent the last 24 hours feeling sorry for myself. Normally, I don't feel this way. I usually feel fly because I know that I can survive the day. But yesterday, I almost didn't and my self esteem was at its lowest.

I know I can't get everything I want but it really does hurt when you've sacrificed a lot, endured hurtful words and changed yourself for the better in order to achieve that goal...all of that for nothing. So now all those hurtful words echo into my ear, alongside the loud crash of my goal against the ground. It feels weird to feel regret creeping up my back but I have to shake it off so I don't feel that my life is totally screwed up by the minute.

On a lighter note, I now get it when old folks say, "Those who give way are those who understand". After this moping phase, I am picking up where I left off with that something I learned from this. As of this moment, I am considering an alternative solution that is somewhere near self torture...and don't take the self torture part literally.

In a figurative sense, I guess the concrete road to success is still under construction, with seriously hysterical beings delaying its completion. Jeez. For now, I have keep on treading the rocky dirt road that leads halfway to success.

So now I know that this is how a person feels when stuck in a groove of self pity. Plus, I also feel so pathetic for acting like a self-absorbed princess bitch. Sorry.

Monday, 17 March 2008

Unfair (Gossip Girl Style)

I know jealousy is a soul destroying thing but if you are cramped up at home with your butt parked in whatever you're sitting at, you'd probably be jealous of...

...this guy who doesn't know a thing about Gossip Girl but then gets to see a sneak peek at a shoot on the streets of NYC. He thought it was for a TV commercial. JEEZ!

But I can't blame him, he's there and I'm here in the third world. Heh.

Gossip Girl awaits.
Must. Take. NCLEX. Must. Migrate. SOON.
Lol. Adik!

Sunday, 16 March 2008

TV Time

I seriously can't wait for Gossip Girl to go back on air. I miss Blair Waldorf's neo-bitchiness and amazing wardrobe. She's my favorite character, BTW.

And I'm excited to find out more about Serena's wild past.

Thank God for the internet and pirated DVD's, I am done with the episodes pre-writer's strike. But now, I'm contenting myself on downloading songs from the episodes since I don't listen to mainstream music that much. And this is my personal favorite: Nolita Fairytale by Vanessa Carlton. Lovin' the piano intro...

Whew.

I must have zoned out...this month is the first birthday of The Ice Queen Chronicles. Yay!

birthday

I'm going on a maarte mode because I want to take time to thank everyone reading and/or visiting my blog. And to my blogger friends (you know who you are), although we don't actually get to see each other in real life, I appreciate all the kind words, advices and constructive criticisms.

And to the student nurses who stumble in my blog and ask for my help, I'll try to help you guys in the best way that I can.

Thank you again for a wonderful year. I'm looking forward to another kickass year. *mah*

Sunday, 9 March 2008

I Died

I wasn't that sure if I really had sudden death or was just dumbstruck (no pun intended) after watching this:


I thought, "Somebody kill me". At first I laughed until I realized the possible aftermath of this. I felt sorry for her because I know most people will make fun of her...like now in YouTube.

Let us spare the poor girl. She might improve when the time comes that she'd compete for Miss World. Yun lang.

OK, so this entry will make me jologs because for the next days to come, this might be a hot topic in all blog sites.

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Missing In Action

I have been out for the past few days and now I'm back. I was at my daddy's hometown, which is Roxas City, Capiz. I repeat: wala kaming lahing aswang.

It was my first time to ride onboard Cebu Pacific because I was able to get a really inexpensive fare and that the male flight attendants may be hot PAL's flight is ridiculously early. Since the weather in the Visayas isn't that good, our flight was put on hold because it is so cloudy that there is minimal visibility.

It was fun seeing my relatives again after 4 years. The last time I was there, the reasons aren't pretty because that's the wake of our grandfather.

Gaah. I'll just let the pictures do the talking.



Competing With A Slug

Nowadays whenever people ask me how I am these days, I answer: "Eto, buhay kuhol". These large snails (kuhol) are quiet and simple just as I am now. So I don't get it. Why on God's green goodness, do some people still manage to find the nerve to compete with a slug-like moi? Un-fucking-believable. It's hard to compete with a slug.

There are times that I may act like a self-absorbed princess bitch but I really don't like competing with anyone...unless it is a swim meet. I only turn my blind eye and my deaf ear towards this big joke.

In my 2008 Wish List, I wanted to do away with competition whores this year because I don't want my name dragged into some puny and juvenile comparisons ever again. Srsly, I am not built to be a second-string competitor who gets tangled in some power struggle whenever competitor #2 runs out of arsenal against competitor #1.

Competitions bring out the best and worst in people. Not only that, it makes one feel inferior, doubting oneself. Self-esteem is hard to build up, you know. And I don't want to become a walking time bomb for someone else's self-esteem.

All I want is for these people (they know who they are) to cut the crap. I'll give them the satisfaction by telling them that they are already winning this game that I didn't take part of. I hope I don't have to shove it up their asses, I wish they'd realize this.

Material possessions don't define who you are. Just 'cause my mobile phone only has 2MP's doesn't mean that I am not worthy to be someone else's friend. Just 'cause I don't own a pair of Havaianas doesn't mean I'm less of the person I am now. People get where they are now because of sheer hard work and character.

And a piece of my personal philosophy: Grades aren't the measure of what you are really learning. It never gauges one's knowledge, and it never will for knowledge is immeasurable. Hence, learning is continuous.

Whatevs, here's my first and last take on this competition thingy:

Just remember to look up just as you are looking down on me. You might not see that there is someone just right above you, looking down on what you are doing to other people.