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Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Hmpf.

I've spent the last 24 hours feeling sorry for myself. Normally, I don't feel this way. I usually feel fly because I know that I can survive the day. But yesterday, I almost didn't and my self esteem was at its lowest.

I know I can't get everything I want but it really does hurt when you've sacrificed a lot, endured hurtful words and changed yourself for the better in order to achieve that goal...all of that for nothing. So now all those hurtful words echo into my ear, alongside the loud crash of my goal against the ground. It feels weird to feel regret creeping up my back but I have to shake it off so I don't feel that my life is totally screwed up by the minute.

On a lighter note, I now get it when old folks say, "Those who give way are those who understand". After this moping phase, I am picking up where I left off with that something I learned from this. As of this moment, I am considering an alternative solution that is somewhere near self torture...and don't take the self torture part literally.

In a figurative sense, I guess the concrete road to success is still under construction, with seriously hysterical beings delaying its completion. Jeez. For now, I have keep on treading the rocky dirt road that leads halfway to success.

So now I know that this is how a person feels when stuck in a groove of self pity. Plus, I also feel so pathetic for acting like a self-absorbed princess bitch. Sorry.

2 comments:

roerure said...

whatever it is, everything you've done wasn't for nothing. it led you to this realization. it taught you valuable lessons in life, now ain't that something?

syet! napapaingles na rin ako, hihihi

KC said...

Now that you've mentioned it, I guess it is. Thanks Arjay.

Ayaw mo nun, nosebleed ang abot natin?! Haha!