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Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Stuck In A Rut

My D-Day draws near and I am still nowhere near ready to stain the answer sheets with my trusty ol' lead pencil. I tried to read old science books lying around the house but I can't bring myself to get seriously focused. I can't finish an entire chapter of scientific crapola because my attention span has seriously decreased. The last time I checked, I have my geek gear with me and the right atmosphere, so why the hell am I not focused?!

It scares me shitless to think that this unintentional procrastination lead to self-destruction. I want to get into a decent school so I have to read, read, and fucking read. But I can't, can't, and fucking can't focus that much.

And I don't understand why they have to give out this exam, considering that the schools have their own criteria. Heh.

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Is it me or is it just my old high school rising up from the jologs ashes? I read from a friend's blog enrty that the school would have an alumni homecoming and a real concert (with famous bands) as part of its 15th year anniversary. Even if Jewel thinks that Parokya ni Edgar and MYMP is jologs (LOL), I still can't get over the fact that Dominican College is going shushal na. Feel the shushality, people. 

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Fangirling time!

I love you even if I think you have gay tendencies because your pants are a little tight in the ass.

Monday, 10 November 2008

Coffee Chronicles

After going all serious, it's time for me to cut some slack and rant on something else I love: coffee.

My Coffee History:

I discovered coffee when I was in high school but I only drank whenever there is a difficult exam. I just became a full-pledged caffeine junkie, when I was in college because every exam is hellish. Studying isn't complete without a mug of coffee beside me and my usual nerd gear: thick two-volume books, glue-bound notes, notebooks, pencil case, and my phone with headset. 

When I was a college junior, Sasa, Bebs and I used to study at Starbucks Robinson's Place at the time when it used to be quiet. However, my girls transferred to Starbucks Adriatico and I stayed at the dorm since I was too lazy to come and I am preferring The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.  So I settled with my good ol' homemade iced mocha. It's understood that the content of my blood vessels during college is 90% caffeine and 10% blood.

So now, even if I am working, I still guzzle on coffee but I limit it to two cups. One cup is enough to give me energy to last the shift full of toxicity and annoying shizz. Because I believe in:

However, I want to cut down on my coffee intake but my boss doesn't help. He brings a huge container of brewed coffea arabica that is seriously strong and expects me to finish half of it (the other half is his) while he annoys me with his your-boyfriend-is-freakin'-rich-so-you-need-to-watch-out-after-him banter. Hah. Whatever.

Hello, dysrhythmia and neuritis!

And gaaaaah, coffee doesn't keep me awake anymore. I'm immune like dut. However, I noticed that it brings me closer to my friends (or co-junkies?!). A cure for my social retardation and an intervention for the slow degradation of my social life.

I hope that even if it kills me softly, coffee will still bring me and my co-junkies together even if we have different skeds. Too bad the coffee date that we, the Gorgeous Nerds of Dominican (lols) are planning kind of messed up. But as long as there is coffee, there's still a chance to meet up.

And that includes you college peeps. Gaah.

Twisted Reasoning

Not long ago, I decided to put nursing on the backseat because now I want to be a Hippocrates follower. But whenever I think of it, I get nervous. Sooooo nervous that I want to puke my guts out. The NMAT is just around the corner and I am nowhere near ready for it because I rarely read since I still have work. I didn't enroll myself in a review center because it's expensive and that I don't have time. But I read as soon as I have the time.

But I am still hoping for a good NMAT rating despite the facts presented. I'm not even hoping to get in the bad ass medicine school just across my old university. I just hope I get into a decent school.

You might tell me to quit my job. But I won't. That's where I get moolah to pay for all the application fees and whatnot for school. I don't want my parents to pay for it because they didn't ask me to study again. It was my choice so it is only right that I do so. Although I don't want them to spend a lot again for my education, I can't support myself. But for sure, I can pay them back by not screwing up on the process.

And that's the only thing holding me back: finances. As for motivation, I have lots of it.

If you'd ask me why I decided to take this different career path, it is purely personal reasons. Aside from being fed up with the fucked up way of how nurses are treated, I want to move into something difficult but I know I can do.

I know I was a mediocre student during my Baccalaureate years and only a few believed in my abilities. A lot doubted what I was saying because I was not an "authority". Although I managed to prove them wrong by getting decent grades, there are times that even I, doubt myself. Doubt that was imposed by that social stigma, wounding my self-esteem. However, it didn't stop me from wanting to become a physician. After milking my baccalaureate degree of what its worth, I then thought, "Hey, I can do this. I can fucking do this! I can actually become a fucking doctor". Woohoo!

No, I am not doing this to prove anything to anyone. Rather, I will do this because I realized that I can. And since my mindset is on Surgery, it gives me a good feeling to know that my scheming can actually do good. Imagine how many dads can walk beside their kid during graduation just 'cause a diseased organ got cured due to my scheming. Tres fabuleux.

I still have a long way to go. I'm just a meter forward on the 1 km road to my dream. I'd be moving a centimeter forward if I get accepted in a school. Wish me luck.