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Tuesday, 13 October 2009

To My Dear Frenemy

I know you said sorry for everything that you did to me. But rly, I won't accept it because it's going to be like this all the time. If Friend #1 hadn't told you that you were being a colossal beeyatch, you wouldn't even realize it in the first place.

For the record, I don't like how you look at me whenever you see me happy. I mean, you shouldn't even think that I'm gonna cry for your loss. I hate to break it to 'ya but you're wrong. If I'm totally desperate to have you back and restore the friendship, I would've crawled on fours, begging for you to stay. But boo-hoo because I never beg for something of little importance. Like you.

But since I still have this little morsel of concern for you, let me give you a piece of friendly advice: if you can't say it in English, just say it in Filipino. I'd totally understand. You see, you can be sushala even when you speak Filipino. Rly. Plus you don't have to shove it up our asses that you are more sushala than anyone else by insinuating that you have never ever spoken a word of Filipino.

Unfortunately for you, we lowly sea creatures are sensitive to grammatical and intonation fails. So we're not buying your gimmickry that you have never spoken a word of Filipino. Srsly.

And if a guy is with me, don't crane your neck and do a 360 degree turn because it's so obvious. I know that you're in the middle of Erik Erikson's intimacy vs. isolation so stop torturing yourself by not looking. Just don't. You'll end up asking yourself the same question over and over again: Bakit wala pa akong boyfriend?! And uh, reality check: not every guy I'm with is a love interest. Ano beh, why do you always think that they are romatically linked with me? Again, stop the self torture. It's annoying.

And your loaded god complex? Deflate it because it's not healthy. It's getting to your head. Rly. There will come a time that you won't be able to carry your head on your shoulders. Be brave enough to admit that you have failed or have made a mistake. It feels so good to have finally accepted that you failed. Trust me I know, after accepting my first ever, all time academic FAIL. It's part of being a person, like you always say whenever someone kisses you off. Then why not practice what you preach?

Being a whole new person is fun but when you reinvent yourself for the worst, I rate it:

vouz m'adores, de nites pas le contraire

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